if only if only

You know what I don't like? Telling myself I'm not going to do something, and then doing it. "your not going to spend money today..". I do.
"your not going to eat mcdonalds or any fastfood today.." I do that too.
" your not going to talk to a certain person because you realize how big of a jerk they are and you don't need it.." And I do that too.
But what I hate more is telling myself I'm not going to do something, and then HAVING to do it.. I ran out of gas, thus spending money for it. My blood sugar got low and I got off work too late to make something at home, thus fastfood it is. I do good not talking to a person for a certain amount of time allllmost on the brink of just deleting a phone number, and then they call me. text me. email me, thus having to be nice and chat back.
I wish I could be more specific, but I won't allow myself to.

I need a paper journal.

on a side note, I my dream love life would be a cross between Pam and Jim's in The Office (I know I know I'm obsessed but it truly is tearjerking listening Jim talk about Pam) annnnnd The Beatles "something in the way she moves" song. (We can thank good ole George Harrison for it)

wish list

I've come across some great books, that I want to list so in the future you have a reference to incase I need a gift of some sort ;)

Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher
Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman
My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler
Teleshop by Augusten Bourroughs
Fake Liar Cheat by Tod Goldberg
Dreamworld by Jane Goldman
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
ALL of the Megan Mccafferty books, Sloppy First, Second Helpings, Charmed Thirds, and Fourth Comings ( I used to own the first 3 books and read them till the pages wore thin but I forget who I loaned them to and now I want them back!)
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
American Psycho and Less than Zero both by Bret Easton Ellis
The Center of Everything by Laura Morairty


that'll do for now

I'm slowly starting to realize

Despite how much I try to quit, I'll always be addicted to McDonalds.
That although my handwriting is horrible, it is interesting. I'm starting to like it.
Change is money too.. I think I should start hitting up CoinSaver weekly.
Chocolate really IS the best comfort food, and to all you chocolate haters out there, well ... your missing out.
I truly can't wait to move. and shop for the new apartment :)
I'd be miserable without my bestfriend.
One day I will have a huge movie collection, and I'm slowly starting to build it now!
My new iclock has my heart, I'm not into super cool gadgets as much as I used to be, but I tell you... purchasing it was a total DO on the list of electronics to buy.
I feel bad our desoto mall is closing (gasp!) but I can't help but love the massive sales going on.
I need to be healthier. I work at a gym, its like good health is on a silver platter sitting right in front of me, and I just won't take it.
No matter what, I'll always be a fan of Britney Spears.
As hard as it is, I need to cut off Starbucks. $4.50 for a coffee? C'mon, even I'm smarter than that.
I think I'm going to go out and buy some new heels.
I still need a better wardrobe. I look like a homeless person half the time and the other half I'm in winter clothes (and I live in Florida? )
I miss painting my nails, and I miss the people who would paint theirs with me.
I never knew how small a newborn baby was until this week... they really do come out tiny!
As Republican as I am, I'm letting go of most of my angst towards Obama and hoping he does the right thing in office. Time will tell. I do miss Sarah Palin though :)
I love my work. I really do.
It was alot easier to become and stay tan when I was younger, whats happened since? I can barely keep a light tan.
The next couple months should be the best yet, as anxious I am to get out of town...I'm happy where my life is right now while I'm still here.
I'm at a crossroad with my hair.. I want to be blonder..but I also want to go back brunette. Ughh

Nom Nom Nom

I'm in love.
The end.